[rips open Einhorn's blouse, revealing her breasts] That kind of surgery can be done over the weekend! One viewing may suffice for a lot of people, but Carrey's hyper antics have made Ace Ventura: Pet Detective one of the bestselling videos of the 1990s. I heard 'em again this mornin' scratchin' around. Mr. Shickadance: I heard animals in there, Ventura. Would a real woman have to wear one of these? [takes deep breath and begins speaking at a faster clip] What you WOULDN'T read about is how Ray Finkle lost his mind, was committed to a mental hospital, only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker, manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino whom he blamed for the entire thing! GUANO!!! Huh?! Do not pass GO! Lois Einhorn: SHUT UP! Lew-Who, Za-Her. I'm on a very big case right now. Perhaps we should slow down just a teensy-weensy bit? Steering's a little loose... alignment's off too! Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? Perhaps some Banaca? ...and a clean pair of shorts. See that you do. Ace Ventura: I never bring my work home with me, sir. She's a man! Ace Ventura: You know, you could poke somebody's eye out with that thing. He found Captain Winky!! and how are you this afternoon? (Turned around moving his butt as he talks) Excuse me. how selfish of me. [runs at Ace, attempting to kill him], Ace: Quick decision. Guano? [pulls on Einhorn's hair, assuming it's a wig] Boy, that's really on there! [While holding a skunk] Say hello to my stinky little friend. A quote can be a single line from one character or a memorable dialog between several characters. But thank you for asking. Mr. Finkle: What do you know about Ray Finkle? I'd like to ASS you a few questions! Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. [at the crime scene following Roger Podacter's death]. First, I'd establish a motive. Now how you gonna solve that one? Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. You sounded like someone else. Ace Ventura: You're certain you had to open this door? Melissa: You know, you're just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger. [Melissa drags Emilio into the area with a gun pointed at him] Don't shoot. Please make your quotes accurate. Some rich guy lost it. Ace Ventura: Ah, I can never remember that. Melissa Robinson: Roger Podactor, meet Ace Ventura. He's offering a $25,000 reward. Mr. Shickadance: Oh yeah? Dan Marino: Hey Ace, got anymore of that gum? I have a package for you. How is everyone feeling tonight? I'd like to "ass" you a few questions. Man: Sounds broken. Ace Ventura: I just visited Ray Finkle's place. Losers? But I doubt very much if he could find the time during his... busy schedule...to get rid of big ol' Mr. Knish! Ace Ventura: Martha Metz? I mean it! Do not collect 200 dollars. Hey, thanks for the free parking! Ace Ventura: Of course. Of course. Lois Einhorn: What the hell is he doing here? [quotes from a book]. [Impersonates William Shatner] There's someone on the wing! Ace Ventura: This is double-paned sound-proof glass. Mr. Finkle: She expects him home any minute, see the engine's running but there's nobody behind the wheel. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! Melissa: Did you have any trouble getting in? Annnnnnnd you must be... the Monopoly Guy! A quote can be a single line from one character or a memorable dialog between several characters. If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer. Lois Einhorn: What's the point, Ventura?! Ouda: It's made from guano. Ace Ventura: Mr. Shickadance, I told you - you're my first priority. Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer. Ace: Would you excuse me for just one second? Can ya feel that, buddy? Ace. Ace. Mr. Finkle: She expects him home any minute, see the engine's running but there's nobody behind the wheel. Let's do all the things that you wanna do. If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed. Nice to meet you, you were highly recommended by Martha Metz. Your number's still 911? [walks off with Melissa and Roger standing in disbelief]. If Einhorn comes in here and sees me talking to you or your ass, I'm history. Copyright © Fandango. [puts a shadow in the shape of Lone Ranger's mask on Cadby] Hi Ho Silver, Away! I'd like to ass you a few questions. --Jeff Shannon, https://www.quotes.net/movies/ace_ventura:_pet_detective_quotes_50. Well I think he's saying she's not a virgin. Copyright © Fandango. Well, that famous line turns 20 years old today. Cadby, from the consolate, right? Now, this is an insurance form. You just have yourself a good day. [gasps for air]. Dan Marino: No, kill him! There is no way that neighbor could've heard Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut! This is Ace Ventura’s catchphrase. Emilio: This is not the time, Ace. Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs. I'll be here all week. Ace Ventura: HDS sir, and now are you doing this afternoon? Ventura: No, kill him! If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed. I just want to know how much time I have. Please! You smell terrific. Well Lois, I'm not really ready for a relationship yet, but thank you for asking. I'm sorry, what were you saying? Well, I am not really ready for a relationship now, Lois. Ace Ventura: Excuse me sir, but do you have a mint? Melissa: You really love animals, don't you? Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. He's the detective! Huh?! [looks suspiciously at Camp], [Lt. Einhorn is pointing a gun at Ace's head]. Kill him! Ventura: Tom Ace. [impersonates William Shatner] There's someone on the wing! "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Quotes." 11 Nov. 2020. You cost me $25,000, Polly! [while holding a skunk] Say hello to my stinky little friend. Sidney Poitier’s 7 Most Memorable Performances, All Harry Potter Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer. Ace Ventura: Most likely sir.I bet it was something nice, though. That's okay sir, we'll finish the rest. Ace Ventura:[using his ass to talk to Emilio] Excuse me! Of course, how selfish of me...let's do all the things that YOU wanna do! [cocks gun and puts it under Emilio's chin]. That was close one ladies and gentlemen, of course in every contest, there must be, a loser. He's our pet detective. Ace: [pointing at Einhorn] SHE'S NOT LOIS EINHORN! All rights reserved. Quotes will be submitted for approval by the RT staff. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. [startled at Einhorn shooting into the air]. [takes him down and holds his face near the dead bug] Now, kiss and make up. Annnnnnnd you must be...the Monopoly Guy! I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. You know, you could poke somebody's eye out with that thing. But tell me this...would a real woman be missing these? Ace Ventura: I'm in Psychoville and Finkle's the Mayor. Camp: [nervously] Very, very well, thank you. Ace Ventura: See that you do. Ace Ventura: If the lieutenant is indeed a woman as she claims to be then she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen! STANDS4 LLC, 2020. He's a lawyer. Listen, Pet Dick. Ace: You realize what you just did. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. Ace Ventura: [begging] Don't kill me! Yes! Take care now, bye bye then. Lois Einhorn: What would you know about pressure. Look, honey, there's the hors d'oeuvres. The 1994 box-office hit that turned comedy maniac Jim Carrey into Hollywood's first $20-million man, this gag-filled no-brainer stars Carrey as the titular rubber-faced gumshoe who tracks down lost pets for his heartbroken clients. Ace: Come on! In time, you could develop a tumor. [rips Einhorn's skirt off, believing she is hiding a penis, but she appears to have the normal figure of a woman] Heh heh...oh, boy. Ace Ventura: But your wife said you expect him home any minute. Einhorn: HE KIDNAPPED SNOWFLAKE! (puts a shadow in the shape of Lone Ranger's mask on Cadby) Hi Ho Silver, Away! warning... a**holes may be closer than they appear in the mirror. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Emilio: Hey, I can't do nothing for you on that one. Hello? Ace Ventura: Yes, Satan? Ace: (to the manager) And you said you had to open the balcony door when you came into the room? In time, you could develop a tumor. Huh? Oh, yeah, the bitch! How are Gopher and Doc this evening? I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at Stanford Law was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy private homeowners. Most likely sir, I'll bet it was something nice though. His investigation is a source of constant aggravation for Miami police lieutenant Lois Einhorn (Sean Young), who turns out to be packing more than a pistol under her skirt. (opens door) What do you want?
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